Newsletter Vol. 1 Issue 6

Pain and Surrender

 
The whole of the Spiritual Exercises is about personal transformation to freely love God who loves us deeply. In essence, it is about conversion, a turning of our hearts outward toward all of God’s creation. The theologian Bernard Lonergan, SJ, spoke of conversion as self-transcendence, which becomes an actuality when one falls in love with God. In his book Method in Theology, Lonergan writes that “being in love with God is the basic fulfillment of our conscious intentionality. That fulfillment brings a deep-set joy that can remain despite humiliation, failure, privation, pain, betrayal, desertion. That fulfillment brings a radical peace, the peace that the world cannot give.” 

The crux of the first week of the Exercises is opening ourselves up to self-transcendence by first being present to pain. Sin hurts the victim, the perpetrator, and God. By being present to this pain, we feel the “bitter tragedy of moral and spiritual death,” as Dean Brackley says. By being present to pain we enter into the suffering of God and the suffering of those who are oppressed, not as an intellectual exercise but as a spiritual activity. Try as we might, we cannot protect ourselves from suffering too. The philosopher Jerome Miller writes that “suffering has a way of turning everything upside down. And from that overturned perspective, it makes no sense to resume one’s ordinary life – because one knows now the truths it was designed to keep hidden.”

We as human beings generally have two kinds of responses to suffering. We either cling to things that do not serve us in order to avoid them, or we surrender to our own nothingness. Nothingness is not an absence of ourselves but rather an interior knowledge of our own limitations and daily assumptions. In many ways, we’ve lived our lives, organized our institutions, and structured our culture based on assumptions made about race. Intentionally or unintentionally, many of us have benefited in some way from racial assumptions. Miller continues to say that “we know, in our heart of hearts, that everything in our lives would change, in the most radically irrevocable way, if we were to ever finally let go of [the assumptions that keep us securely in place].” Can we imagine a world where we surrender our assumptions?

It takes courage, strength, and God’s grace to surrender. After the Last Supper and before his arrest, Jesus went with a few of his disciples to the garden of Gethsemane. There he prayed “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want” (Mt 26:39). Even though Jesus knew what God had in store from him, He was afraid to surrender to his fate. Ignatius designed each exercise to begin by praying for a certain grace. He knew that we need God’s help in this endeavor. It is through surrendering that we come to know God more intimately. 

As we end this First Week of the Exercises, we place ourselves at the foot of the cross. Once again, we ask ourselves, what have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What ought I do for Christ? We ready ourselves for the next part of our journey where we will walk with Jesus in his incarnation and ministry as we contemplate how Jesus walks with the racially oppressed. There is still more work to be done.

Resource Video:

Watch “The Hill We Climb” written and recited by Amanda Gorman HERE

Meditation:

15-30 Minutes

I prepare myself for prayer in my usual way. I silent any distractions. I sit in a comfortable position.

I take in three deep breaths, feeling my belly expand with each inhale and deflate with each exhale.

I pray for the grace to be present to the pain and surrender to the suffering caused by sin.

I think back over these past few weeks to moments in my prayer that struck me. I return to those thoughts and prayers. I note any particular emotions these moments evoke. 

I reflect on where I felt moments of consolations, a closeness to God, or desolation, distance from God. 

I prepare myself for a series of three colloquies.

First, I turn to Mother Mary. I imagine myself sitting beside her asking her for three favors from her Son. I ask for an understanding of sin in my life. I ask for understanding on how to make amends for my personal sins. I ask for deeper insight into how sin works in the world so as to work against sin and toward God, and how to repent for benefits I have received because of sin in the world. I say a Hail Mary or other prayer to Mary. 

Then I imagine that Jesus joins us. I ask the same three favors so that Jesus may obtain them from God on my behalf. I say a prayer to Jesus.

Finally, I imagine that I go before God with Mary and Jesus. Recognizing that God gives all good things, I again ask for the three favors from God. 

Thanking Mary, Jesus, and God for time spent with them, I close my prayer with an Our Father. 

Invitation: Small Reflection Groups

Having a community to grow with is an important part of growing both in the spiritual life and a life committed to racial justice. Sharing groups facilitate learning from others and articulating for oneself and others how God is working in one's own prayer and learning. St. Ignatius Parish is organizing OPTIONAL small reflection groups for parishioners. We will also try to support other locations by networking with interested persons from the same location together. 

This survey asks you to identify if you would like to join a small group and/or facilitate a small group. We also ask you to identify if you would like to be in a particular type of group. While we cannot guarantee we can pair people in the exact group they prefer, we will try to organize groups according to the responses to the survey. This will be contingent on the number of facilitators we are able to recruit.

Please complete the survey if you'd like to take part by January 31st. 

TAKE SURVEY

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