Over the past few weeks here at St. Ignatius, our parish has been blessed to bear witness to many of our fellow parishioners who have celebrated their Sacraments of Initiation. For those of us who have been present during what amount to public professions of faith, these moments have been moving and reminiscent of other sacramental celebrations experienced both by ourselves and by those we love. They have reminded us of who we were, who we are, and who we can become when we allow ourselves to be touched by God’s divine life, which is God’s spirit. Which is the Church.
Which is us.
Watching Fr. Howell anoint the foreheads of our Confirmandi on April 29th, I was reminded of my own Confirmation day, when I was sure I would be immediately gifted with knowledge, not to mention wisdom and understanding. (Fear of the Lord or piety were much lower down on my wish list, and “speaking in tongues,” whatever that meant, just sounded gross.) In my white dress and felt-adorned stole, I couldn’t wait for the Holy Spirit to descend. Whatever She had in store for me, I was ready.
It didn’t quite work out like that.
Instead of understanding, I received the gift of fortitude, which I needed in spades as an adult, first when my oldest son was diagnosed with cancer at the age of seven, and later when my spouse filed for divorce without warning after 26 years of marriage. Instead of wisdom, I received the gift of piety, which allowed me to love God as a beloved parent despite my difficulties with my own family of origin, while also opening the door to the communion of saints, many of whom I now count as personal friends.
And instead of knowledge, I received the gift of wonder and awe in the presence of the Lord, which, when I follow the practice of finding God in all things, means that when I finally look up and pay attention, I can experience wonder and awe in the presence of pretty much anything. My dog. Your cat. The kid across the street singing that silly song. The kid in the row behind you kicking the back of your economy-class seat (yes, even him). Your brother’s husband or my sister’s wife and everywhere, everywhere, the Spirit of God is descending, bringing divine life and love and all of the grace we can hold. On you. On me.